Dear Naughty and Nice-
This hot guy at church asked for my number and never called. The next week, he asked for it again, so I gave it to him again. The next week, he said he lost it and asked for it again, and I gave it to him, again. Why doesn’t he call? He’s obviously interested, he approached me.
Sincerely, Triple Digits
Dear Triple digits,
Hate to be cliché, but he's just not that into you! There're a million stupid reasons why guys ask for your number and never call. Mainly it all boils down to because they can. This loser should be embarrassed to ask you for your number three times. Unfortunately you should be embarrassed that you gave it to him three times. Wake up girl! If this is how he starts the relationship, how do you think the rest of it would be? If he asks you for your number again tell him; "I only gave it to you the 2nd and 3rd time to see if you were actually as ridiculous as I suspected. But now the joke’s old, so sorry." And p.s. some of the biggest players go to church. They have a lot of repenting to do!
-NAUGHTY
Dear Triple Digits-
Just like our prison system’s 3 strike rule, I think you’re being too lenient. I rarely give my name twice, much less my number – it’s too hard to get from me in the first place! To be fair, there are exceptions to the rule, just don’t make the exception the rule. I’m sorry to say you’ve been had. Guys do not lose numbers to girls they like. Have you ever felt in need of validation? That was he was doing; seeking validation. And you gave it to him, in multiples. Do yourself a favor: next time he asks, tell him he can go home alone and validate himself all he wants - without you.
-NICE
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
HOOK UP HANG UPS
Dear Naughty and Nice-
Why don’t women sleep with everyone they want to? Do they wait out of shame? Are they afraid to be labeled? If I want to hook up with a hot chick, I have no problem, why do women?
Sincerely, Sleeps Around
Dear Sleeps Around-
Women don’t have a “problem”, we have “reasons”:
On a medical level: we’re letting you come into our house – a man enters and leaves us little gifts: yeast infections, potential babies, STD’s. Yes, there are condoms, but they sometimes break just like hearts. Also, bonding chemicals release in our brains when we orgasm. Evolution chose this, not us. We don’t want to get attached to someone who’s had his fun and is ready to run. Ever hear of a crazy ex-girlfriend? Guess who makes us crazy?
On a moral level: we’re still a puritanical society. We judge ourselves, we judge others, we judge the way others judge us. Men sleep around and are “Bachelors,” women who do are "Sluts.” And while men want to sleep with a woman with experience, he’s hesitant to marry that woman.
On a final level: we don’t want to sleep with you as often as you think we do. There aren’t that many good guys; so even though you may want to sleep with us, we often don’t give you a second thought. So, maybe we DO sleep with whoever the hell we want to; maybe it’s just not YOU.
-NICE
Dear Sleeps Around,
I’m gonna have to go with Nice on this one: 1970 called, they want you back. It's called STDs, ever heard of them? And may I recommend you make a trip to the clinic today. Just know this; when a girl says no, she not saying "I don't love sex, I’m not horny," she’s really saying, “I got to get out of here and get to my vibrator before I explode!"
-NAUGHTY
Why don’t women sleep with everyone they want to? Do they wait out of shame? Are they afraid to be labeled? If I want to hook up with a hot chick, I have no problem, why do women?
Sincerely, Sleeps Around
Dear Sleeps Around-
Women don’t have a “problem”, we have “reasons”:
On a medical level: we’re letting you come into our house – a man enters and leaves us little gifts: yeast infections, potential babies, STD’s. Yes, there are condoms, but they sometimes break just like hearts. Also, bonding chemicals release in our brains when we orgasm. Evolution chose this, not us. We don’t want to get attached to someone who’s had his fun and is ready to run. Ever hear of a crazy ex-girlfriend? Guess who makes us crazy?
On a moral level: we’re still a puritanical society. We judge ourselves, we judge others, we judge the way others judge us. Men sleep around and are “Bachelors,” women who do are "Sluts.” And while men want to sleep with a woman with experience, he’s hesitant to marry that woman.
On a final level: we don’t want to sleep with you as often as you think we do. There aren’t that many good guys; so even though you may want to sleep with us, we often don’t give you a second thought. So, maybe we DO sleep with whoever the hell we want to; maybe it’s just not YOU.
-NICE
Dear Sleeps Around,
I’m gonna have to go with Nice on this one: 1970 called, they want you back. It's called STDs, ever heard of them? And may I recommend you make a trip to the clinic today. Just know this; when a girl says no, she not saying "I don't love sex, I’m not horny," she’s really saying, “I got to get out of here and get to my vibrator before I explode!"
-NAUGHTY
Friday, May 23, 2008
BEAUTY AND GRANDPA
Dear Naughty and Nice,
I'm jaded with the women in LA. It's normal to see beautiful young women with unattractive rich older men. How does she let grandpa touch her? How can she sleep at night? Doesn’t she care that we know why she’s with him?
Sincerely, Confused and Jaded
Dear Confused and Jaded-
Yes, you are jaded. Why must you assume this woman is with the "older man" because of his money? Could he maybe be interesting, intelligent and chivalrous? Wow, what a thought that a beautiful woman could be into more than looks and money. Maybe she realized in LA that hot guys closer to her age are; broke, immature, players...or closeted homosexuals. Or maybe her wise father told her; "If you're going to fall in love, you might as well fall in love with someone rich". She probably sleeps very well at night in her expensive satin sheets and doesn’t have time to care that you’re judging her; she’s busy ordering her maid around, shopping and dining. Who wouldn’t want that life? My advice to you: just concentrate on yourself, become successful, and in time, you too can date an inappropriately aged younger woman.
-NAUGHTY
Dear Confused and Jaded-
I wonder the same thing! As an attractive younger woman in LA, I’ve been approached not a few times by older, wealthy men – some unattractive, some decent. I’ve also been to a party or ten where rich older men showing young attractive women good times is as common a sight as Vince Vaughn drinking alone at a bar – both are a little sad and confusing.
Here’s the deal: that hot woman you desire needs something you can’t give her, so she’s finding it elsewhere. And you wouldn’t want to be saddled by her baggage, so stop trying to rope her in, she’d just leave you with burn marks and a cloud of dust. Men will sleep with anything come 2am, so don’t judge beauty and grandpa; maybe she loves him, maybe he’s learned what to do with his hands, maybe he’s impotent and just enjoys something pretty to sleep next to and she wants something pretty to wear & drive.
Look, it’s not my cup of tea, but LA is BURSTING with hot women; if you’re lamenting over the few that are taken, you’re finding an excuse to blame the rich guy. Maybe you’re just as shallow as those women for wanting a shallow woman. Don’t blame the game: be a better player.
-NICE
I'm jaded with the women in LA. It's normal to see beautiful young women with unattractive rich older men. How does she let grandpa touch her? How can she sleep at night? Doesn’t she care that we know why she’s with him?
Sincerely, Confused and Jaded
Dear Confused and Jaded-
Yes, you are jaded. Why must you assume this woman is with the "older man" because of his money? Could he maybe be interesting, intelligent and chivalrous? Wow, what a thought that a beautiful woman could be into more than looks and money. Maybe she realized in LA that hot guys closer to her age are; broke, immature, players...or closeted homosexuals. Or maybe her wise father told her; "If you're going to fall in love, you might as well fall in love with someone rich". She probably sleeps very well at night in her expensive satin sheets and doesn’t have time to care that you’re judging her; she’s busy ordering her maid around, shopping and dining. Who wouldn’t want that life? My advice to you: just concentrate on yourself, become successful, and in time, you too can date an inappropriately aged younger woman.
-NAUGHTY
Dear Confused and Jaded-
I wonder the same thing! As an attractive younger woman in LA, I’ve been approached not a few times by older, wealthy men – some unattractive, some decent. I’ve also been to a party or ten where rich older men showing young attractive women good times is as common a sight as Vince Vaughn drinking alone at a bar – both are a little sad and confusing.
Here’s the deal: that hot woman you desire needs something you can’t give her, so she’s finding it elsewhere. And you wouldn’t want to be saddled by her baggage, so stop trying to rope her in, she’d just leave you with burn marks and a cloud of dust. Men will sleep with anything come 2am, so don’t judge beauty and grandpa; maybe she loves him, maybe he’s learned what to do with his hands, maybe he’s impotent and just enjoys something pretty to sleep next to and she wants something pretty to wear & drive.
Look, it’s not my cup of tea, but LA is BURSTING with hot women; if you’re lamenting over the few that are taken, you’re finding an excuse to blame the rich guy. Maybe you’re just as shallow as those women for wanting a shallow woman. Don’t blame the game: be a better player.
-NICE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
